I Made It!

I made it! With the help of God! I have made and passed the mark of three months free from self-harm of any sort. And like I said in a previous post, that's the longest it's been in 7 years. I have never felt so free in my life. Wow, just wow. =) God was right when He promised to restore to me what's been lost- joy, freedom, happiness. It's good.

Oh Grow Up.

So, I'm kinda in that stage in my life where I still want to be a kid, and not have to worry about the important stuff, but then again, I am 22 and I have to be an adult. I have to worry about the important stuff. It's part of growing up and being responsible.

One thing I REALLY need to keep myself in check with would be how I spend the money I earn. Right now I am not financially stable on my own. I still live with my parents, and so on. But, I do have the goal of moving out on my own in mind. I want all that- I WANT THAT INDEPENDENCE. I'm sure all you 20- somethings out there know EXACTLY what I'm speaking about. I mean, I love my family and all, but they drive be absolutely INSANE. So yeah. I need to really start keeping track of where all my money is going. And I need to be putting the majority of it into my savings so that goal of moving out can realistically happen sometime soon.

Yeah- that was random, but on my mind. Had to get it out. =)

The picture directly above is my left arm. You may ask why all the scars and marks, but I want to draw your attention to the tattoo on my wrist. It's Hebrew for Jehovah Ropha- which means, "The Lord who Heals". Which is very symbolic for me. First- the healing God has brought upon my life- emotionally, mentally, and even physically. And Second- I had a prophetic word spoken over my life that God would use my hands to heal the broken... Here's a little bit about me....

I am now in a place in my life where I can admit my short-comings and really speak about the life I found myself surviving in for so long- about SEVEN years. As many of you may know- I went to a residential facility, Mercy Ministries back in early 2009 and graduated the program in November of 2009. God did an amazing work in my life during that season. When I returned home, I could see the change God did in me throughout that time. But as any other human, if you don't pay attention to the things you do in life, you can slip right back into old habits- mine being that of self destructive behaviors. I did well for quite a while, but I stopped doing what I needed to do and found myself in trouble once again. Once again, I called out to humans to heal me, to find a cure for my brokenness. I found myself somewhere I have never been before- an outpatient on a psychiatric unit. I left the same as I went in- probably even more confused and depressed- feeling I really was "crazy". I wasn't- I was hurting. It finally hit me months later that THIS WAS MY CHOICE- GOD ALREADY GAVE ME THIS FREEDOM I LONG SO MUCH AFTER! I AM FREE! Almost THREE months ago was the last time I participated in any self destructive behavior! You may think that's not that long- but I was a prisoner for SEVEN years of my life. And now, I am walking in COMPLETE freedom! God is good. Not only is he healing my heart, but gradually healing my physical scars as well. Not to mention- I am not ashamed of this life. God took this heap of Ash's and is turning it into something absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I am excited to be FREE!

Squirrel Trouble

Okay, so I'm sitting at work today in the Pool Store and these two squirrels are running around outside. Okay, no problem. They get closer and closer- with me keeping a watchful eye on how close they really are to me. They both run around the corner...INTO THE STORE! The one that came in last I scared off by hitting a book. The other one ran behind one of our shelves. I tried to scare him out, but no luck, he went further back. So, a type of panic came across me. Just so you know- I have this small fear of these lil creatures. They're like hoping rodents with huge bushy tales, I don't know- they may bite! I'm not messing with it now. So, out of desperation, I text one of our guys who is out on a service call. I ask him to come get the squirrel out! Hahaha. He calls back right away and says he's actually on his way back to the shop. Thank you Jesus!! I will be rescued. LOL. So, he comes in ready to get this thing out of here. So, he grabs the closest thing- a vac pole and starts to poke at where the squirrel is. It comes out from behind the shelf, but hides in another corner- so he tries to get him out of there- then it hops onto the curtains and climbs on top of another shelf. Ugh!! Help!! So, then he swings at it again, and it runs out. That lil sucker didn't want to leave. Ewww! I'm good now- I survived =)